big lessons for me here in mammoth. i went to the store to resupply and of course chose exercise over public transportation, cuz when you do something like this your motor is always going and you just want to move. i think it must have something to do with cortizol levels or something. this happened last year on the appalachian trail. i don't sleep much on the trail, maybe 4-6 hours a night, if that, and i am more than rested. so then when i get in town, then same thing happens. it seems to take about 2 zero days in a row to slow down and actually sleep for more than 4 hours at a time.
anyway, on the way to the store i had a pretty bad fall. after getting up and focusing on not passing out, i actually started laughing out loud. i mean, think of it. i walked 906 miles thru desert, rain, snow, up and down rugged trails with not one injury. i get to a town and fall . . . so me.
not boring you with the details, let's just say it involved a car and i am lucky to be alive. large patches of skin now missing from my back, elbows, hands, and buttocks aside, my right hand and left foot are not so good. this happened on tuesday morning. yesterday was not fun. it is always the day after that one comes to terms with the details of the injuries.
after the initial shock and the thought to go stay with family for a while, i am giving it until saturday to heal. of course my host, nate, has been more than generous offering his house for as long as i need to heal.
not sure what this is all about. maybe i needed to slow down? be humbled in the knowing and remembering of the fragility and eventual loss of everything in this physical world? just a random event? what kharma did i take on? lots of thoughts and wonderings. lots of time for reflection.
of course my family and friends have been amazing. big lesson for me in accepting the generous gift from nate to stay as long as i need. susie has been so caring and helpful. ramloti and ashram crew sends their love and the blessings from the divine mother.
my extended family both in crestone and in denver. people who have opened their lives and homes inviting me in often times as a part of their families . . .
my closest friend kirsten . . . always there and always dedicated to our mutual growth. what more could one ask?
my guru and guide, paige. completely dedicated to my evolution totally beyond the constraints and rules of our current matrix of our collective culture . . .
have i mentioned what amazing parents i have? let's face it, they have an out-of-the-box son. probably not at all what they thought or dreamed of upon my birth or life. they have been nothing but supportive and loving.
i am so beyond thankful. this injury and time of reflection has served its purpose of opening my heart even further. of course my ego wanted to feel like a victim - to make this in to an attack against me. it is what it is and my only job is to learn from it. we do not hurt each other intentionally . . . ever. i have always rejected the idea of evil. i struggled for a long time with the idea of good, thinking it was the better of the two choices. this is precisely the physical metaphor that is hiking for me. when one is up on these ridgelines at 12, 13000 feet, walking the fine line where both sides of the trail, either choice - right/left, good/evil, black/white, dark/light, happy/sad, love/hate, etc - aka duality is laid out in front of you, you begin to realize that either choice, even though one may appear to be better than the other, is still a choice within duality. the true beingness that one experiences is in the choice of neither and both at the same time. this is walking the ridgeline. the knife's edge of balance between duality. it is as christ proclaimed on the cross, "forgive them mother/father consciousness, they know not what they do . . ." we crash in to each other, not fully knowing what we do because this is the experience we came here for - separation . . . and what a great experiment it is . . .
o miles and infinite reflection. thanx to all . . .
- tribhu (tree-boo)
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